Rooms Page 8
"I’ve waited for you for some time, Rad. You’ve put yourself through a great deal during the last few months."
"I don't know you. How do you know me, and what do you mean you've been waiting for me?" In between gulps, he was looking into her eyes as if the answers to his bewilderment were there.
"Eat and we’ll begin. Then you’ll understand."
She laid a small glowing sphere on the rug. It seemed to exude some part of her, some connection to her. She walked away. Rad finished eating and continued to stare at the light. He felt somewhat unsteady again and decided to lie down for just a moment, but his heavy eyes wouldn’t be denied. They closed, and he slept hard and deep - the rest of a warrior at the end of a long battle.
***
Awake again, Rad felt much better than he had for a long time. His vision was extremely acute and his senses tingling with awareness. He heard footsteps and looked up to see the woman coming back into the room. She kneeled in front of him. He looked more closely, trying to distinguish her age, but he couldn’t. She saw him watching and smiled. Then she asked him to sit directly across from her as she placed the glowing sphere in the palm of his hands.
Rad did as he was asked. Then she spoke, saying, “Are you ready, Rad?”
He hesitated a moment and then asked, “Ready…for what?” She didn’t respond, but as he posed the question, the sphere in his hand burned brighter until its light encircled him. He reached out, sensing that he could somehow touch its surface. But then, without warning, it exploded in a violent burst of energy, and his journey began.
Once the brilliance of the explosion subsided, Rad realized that he was no longer with the woman. He was now hurtling through space at an unfathomable rate. He panicked and attempted to flail about but abruptly realized that he no longer had a body. He’d been reduced to the microscopic, consciousness intact, but now no more than a single atom of matter. At the same moment, it came to him that he must have finally been chosen by the Old One – the realization bred from the many hours of his maniacal search. This had to be the first level of the Room.
The realism of it all took his breath away. He was passing through the same stages that Simon and many other lucky travelers had experienced. He prepared himself. He knew that he would not have a chance to continue on and play the other levels unless he could somehow survive this one, but what was the final test of this level? Obviously, no one, at least no one that he knew about, had found out. He did everything to relax. His microscopic journey continued.
In the swirling stellar view that was passing through and around him, a blue dot appeared, just as it had for Simon. Rad's mind grasped its meaning instantly and watched as the object drew into focus in front of him. It was Earth - a spherical, blue, precious pebble that lay in the middle of a vast, black velvet stage. Leaping past Earth's sun, his speed increased radically, and Earth’s details became more and more discernable as he flew faster and faster towards its surface. He attempted to understand and control his terror amongst the heart-pounding, dangerous visions directly in front of him. He breathed, or at least tried to breathe. He wasn't sure that a single atom traveling at the speed of light through space needed to, or could, but he attempted it – needed it. He trembled and did his best to remain as alert as humanly possible, placing the game at the forefront of his mind, not his fear.
Clouds, coolness and molecules of air all rushed by as he entered Earth’s atmosphere. On the descent towards its surface, he began morphing again. This time he was gaining substance and changing back into his original form. Directly below, he could see and begin to feel the heat from massive explosions. Immense volcanoes were erupting all around with boiling lava steaming and flowing into an ancient sea.
Careening downwards, he could see exactly where he was headed. Directly in front of him was the mouth of a single volcano. It had to be the same one that Simon had experienced. It was enormous, and it was angry. He knew that he was going to be thrust into its fathomless depths, and within seconds lava and ash surrounded him. He set his jaw to the task and was thrown into, sacrificed into, the Earth.
Fierce detonations of red, yellow, and orange devoured him, searing and burning away his flesh as he was catapulted deeper and deeper into the Earth’s core. He was reduced, melted down, and changed again into his simplest form.
Then, as suddenly as it had all begun, darkness and silence fell on him like a hammer blow, and the part of him that still lived curled into a ball and floated within the very bowels of the Earth. His heart slowed, and his mind acknowledged the truth of it all. And at that moment of recognition, he felt himself being caressed by a living planet and accepted. He was humbled. He was home.
Trembling and frail from the terror of his journey, he slowly opened his eyes. He had returned and was lying on the floor curled into a ball. In front of him, the glow from the sphere in his hands was dancing across the face of the Old One, and she spoke to him with her eyes. She illuminated him with love. He rested.
***
Clutching the silk-like bed cover in his sleeping quarters, Rad was shocked to find himself home again. He could still see the Old One's face - her image burned into the retinas of his eyes. For just a few seconds, it seemed that she was still there. He clumsily rose up and sat on the edge of his bed. He remained there for a long time gathering his senses. Then through his muddled memory, he recalled that Tal and Simon had been with him, helping him to recover. He stood to give them a call on his video-link, but as he did, he heard someone rushing into his room. In front of him were his two friends.
"My God, Rad, what's going on? We heard you moan, then we checked to see what was wrong. You just disappeared. Now you’re back! What happened?”
"Okay, okay Simon. Give him a chance." Tal did his best to calm his friend.
Rad collapsed back onto the bed and motioned for them to sit down. He was trying to organize his thoughts. The two sat down beside him and then Simon pointed at Rad and gasped, "That's incredible! Look at his eyes. What is that? Rad, look at your eyes!”
Rad sat back up and stared into a mirror at his bedside. Somehow, he understood what was happening. The Earth, old Earth's fire, was still burning inside him. He reached out for his friends and said, "Quick, take my hand.”
Tal and Simon were somewhat leery, but despite their apprehension, they did as Rad asked. As they did, he sensed something inside one of his pockets. He reached down and found a small, smooth, warm sphere. His hand tingled with its touch, and he felt the energy from it grow and surround them all. Without even comprehending how, he connected his mind to theirs and started sharing his experience.
After the encounter, Rad’s eyes had ceased to burn, the sphere’s energy had cooled, and he knew that he was no longer the same person.
Then Tal recognized what had happened and said, "You were there Rad. I knew you were destined to find the Room." Tal had carried a burden of worry for several months, and to find Rad, lose him, and have him return again affected him deeply.
Rad simply answered, "Yes."
Simon couldn’t help himself as he jumped in and said, "I knew it! I knew it! Fantastic! The memory had faded for me, but when you shared with us, it all came back. By the way, how did you do that? You must have passed, Rad. Could you survive another level of that game?"
"All I can think about now, Simon, is getting more rest, eating some good food. Then I need to go for a ride on my speedcycle. I need some time to think."
Then Tal asked reluctantly, "I've never asked before, Rad… I don’t want to impose, especially after everything you’ve gone through, but I was wondering if we could ride with you. I think I can get two speedcycles and some suits to wear from the training center. Could we join you?” Simon agreed.
"No one has ever asked before. Sure, I’d love to have you along.”
Tal and Simon left, and Rad lay back on his bed, knowing that some more rest would be incredibly welcome at this point. Before nodding off, he thought of his friends and was looking
forward to riding with them. Both of them had been so good to him, each in their own way.
***
Tal and Simon returned after a couple of hours and woke Rad. He felt much better. They’d also picked up some of his favorite food. They ate, talked, and laughed about recent events. It was just good to catch up on life.
Rad adjusted the speedcycles to fit Tal and Simon, and they were just about to leave when Rad went back into his sleeping quarters to get his cycling gloves. He glanced down at the covers on his bed once more, thinking how good they’d felt when he’d first awakened. And as he did, lying there on top of them…was his book. Between the extended time in bed and the excitement of the Room, Rad hadn’t thought about it for a while. It lay there and seemed to beg him to pick it up. He laughed at his flare for the dramatic but couldn’t help reaching for it. Then he also took the energy sphere from of his pocket and casually looked inside the book. The pages no longer had just one or two words. They were completely full, each and every page. He sat down on the edge of the bed and stared in disbelief, but he knew that right now he simply couldn’t deal with this. It was too much…too much had happened. He needed to clear his mind. He stood back up, closed the book and slipped both it and the sphere back under the covers. Then he pulled his helmet on and went out to ride with Tal and Simon. There would be time to figure all this out later.
11
Into the Desert
Rad stopped for just a moment and looked back at the lifeglobe in the distance. From this perspective, it was infinitesimal and fragile in contrast to R-131, which itself, was simply a tiny nugget in the universe. The planet seemed endless as Rad's footprints marred its surface. In a way, he felt ashamed to be stepping on the barren soil. The original settlers’ tracks had been blown away long ago. His seemed virgin. The moons were out tonight, illuminating his progress as he ventured toward the Sharp Mountains - at least a two-day traverse from the lifeglobe.
Through his visor, R-131 was a study in black and white. A canvas covered in shadows, lines and stark scenes of hostile intent. Its minimal atmosphere served to burn up the meteor showers attempting to broach its crust, but deep craters still gave evidence to its volatile past. Rad continued on, using the light on his helmet, skirting obstacles and stepping carefully across the virgin soil. In his mind, he felt exposed, even though he was protected by his survival suit and helmet. He knew that any malfunction or mistake could cost him his life. Of course it was dangerous to exit the safety of a lifeglobe alone, but the experience was already worth it. Being outside brought an authenticity that he could never experience from within. He was alone in the wilderness of this planet. Hardly anyone in recent history had traveled this far on foot. Rad felt alive.
***
Five days before leaving the lifeglobe, Rad had tried to go back to the Room to meet the Old One. He now knew the location because of the wooden door and felt that he had to get some answers to all of the questions running around in his brain. When he arrived, he knocked, but no one answered. He’d tried the handle, but it was locked, so he sat down and waited. No one arrived.
While sitting there, Rad realized that if he couldn’t ask the Old One his questions, he would simply have to use the one thing that he’d been given and find his own answers – the leather book. He believed that there must be some connection between that book, the Earth, and the Room. He decided to leave the lifeglobe and get away. He needed to be alone – completely alone - somewhere where he could immerse himself in study and seek out the answers that he needed. He had recovered quickly enough from his last ordeal, and the speedcycling that he’d done with Tal and Simon had helped him to get ready for another strenuous and lonely journey.
Because of his previous association with the government and the inner-workings of this particular lifeglobe, he had many friends within the maintenance crews on R-131 and had convinced one of them, a woman named Shee, to let him borrow a suit and a survival station for his journey. To transport the station plus an oxygen interface that would last for about two months his friend also provided him with a hand-drawn cart. He gathered enough food and water for more than a month, took with him a small compu-tablet with 3D-maps from the original imaging of the planet, various other pieces of survival paraphernalia, and the well wishes of Shee. He had not told Tal or Simon about his latest escapade, mainly because he didn't want to have to tell them about the leather book. So he just left a simple message that he would be gone for a while.
Before leaving, he also downloaded information on the ancient arts of mind control and meditation, writings on poetry, everything he could find about Earth, a collection on current quantum physics’ theories, and finally some information about the techno-history of space travel and the human search for another Earth-like planet. He wanted to have everything that he might need.
***
Rad's trek was solitary, yet free. He needed to learn. He needed to understand his origins, what had happened on Earth, and what it was to be human. He needed adventure. He needed to feel.
His first encounter with the Old One and the Room had changed him. He knew that change was part of everything in the universe. People changed. The lifeglobes changed - breaking down after a time and needing repair. Planets changed. Tal changed. Simon had changed. Zeer... She was gone. That was a change. But for now, he simply needed to stop thinking and put one foot in front of the other. This journey would be important. He knew it.
***
Gone again. The news had begun to spread throughout the lifeglobe about the crazy man losing it one more time. The big question was, ‘Where was he?’ and the news’ vids buzzed with speculation about his disappearance.
It was a little easier for Tal and Simon this time, though. Rad had at least left them a short note and had asked Shee to tell them that he was outside the lifeglobe. They still had no idea exactly where he was or what he was doing, but at least he hadn’t left them in the dark this time.
"That guy's strange, Tal. We get him back. Help him. He seems fine. Then the old disappearing act again.”
"He's searching Simon. The contact with the Old One, his experience in the Room, and his long search have all had an effect on him. I think we just need to let him be who he is and go on living our lives. That's important. We can wonder, but it's his life. Shee thought he’d be fine. We’ll see him again.”
Simon merely shook his head in frustration, but he actually understood what was going on with Rad a lot more than he let on. After all, he, too, had experienced the Room, and it had changed him as well. All he had to do was close his eyes, and he could see it as if it was just happening. He thought of Rad and believed, as Tal had, that they would see him again, but couldn’t help wondering, ‘What changes would there be in him this time?’
***
Naked. The freedom of nudity anywhere, even if it was inside a small survival-dome, was exhilarating and joyful. Maybe it came from when he was a child, or maybe it was simply that it felt good to not being confined. Regardless, it was stimulating and helped Rad think. Within his temporary new home many kilometers from the lifeglobe on R-131, he read and devoured huge amounts of information and ideas. The Earth, once a living breathing entity, had been filled with such promise. Life had boiled on its surface, floated within its oceans, and had even survived deep inside its crust. Its evolution sustained the ebb and flow of succession and the delicate balance and interdependence of ecosystems. The growth and demise of the human culture, along with the planet itself, had been brought about by mistrust, hate, racism, religion, greed, and power. The warning signs had been obvious. The gadflies had drawn blood with their counsel, but the human species continued to fuel the race towards the destruction of this jewel, this one-in-a-billion planet.
And as Rad meditated, a lonely tear slid down his face while he sat on the surface of this small spec in the Milky Way - a solar system among billions in an infinite universe. Yet, that small drop of water carried with it the beginnings of life, and he knew now that it had
traveled billions of miles through eons of time. Maybe it had lain within rocks on some other planet and had been released by some dynamic cataclysm. Possibly it had once been part of the Earth's oceans. ‘Could it have been the same drop that had come from the eye of a child that had starved in Ethiopia or in New York? Could it have come from the spittle of a man congested from the burning air in London? Could it have run down the cheek of a mother in Asia watching her child die from a disease garnered from fouled and polluted water? Or…could it have simply been a drop transpired from a plant somewhere in this great universe?’ The one drop turned into many as Rad poured his heart onto the floor. His meditation was a difficult one as his mind traveled over the contents of the leather book.
The handwritten pages seemed to be endless. The book was small, but after absorbing one part, that section vanished and the next lesson began. This progression, Rad found, would not occur without the small sphere. Somehow, the connection between the sphere and the book brought about the words on the pages and allowed him to learn. He didn’t understand exactly how it worked but was incredibly grateful for the knowledge.
It taught him of Earth's formation, the process of evolution and change, energy flow, cycles, biospheres and succession, the driving force of sex and reproduction, the beauty of life, the connectivity of all life, human history and cultures, world religions and other meditations, wild creatures, plants and places, soil, water, uncontrolled populations, energy flow, corporate greed, waste, pollution, toxicity, exploitation, nationalism, war, violence, bureaucracy, exploration and colonization, entropy, sadness, the dormancy of Earth, the small life-force that remained there, and a view of the human species since leaving earth. It covered so much, and the power of the words consumed him. Rad pulsed with joy, anger, frustration, grief, hypocrisy, wonder, and sadness.